Jonathan Stockmyre

Jonathan Stockmyre is a relatively unknown force, appearing in the background of certain episodes for only a few frames. Because of this it took years for dedicated butt ugly fans to notice his existence, and even longer to track down the effect he's had on the butt ugly world as a whole.This page was created to catalog what we know of his abilities, and his notable sightings.

Jonathan Stockmyre is first and foremost a shape shifter, able to take the appearance of any stock photo in 2d sprite form instantaneously, with only a couple seconds cooldown between each use. We were able to determine his cool down time to be over two seconds as he can be seen dodging one of Mobious One's missiles in the background of season 2 episode 4 · Emperor Damage by shape shifting from "Young Man Running" into "Girl Dancing Leaning Back" but was unable to shift again in time to dodge a second missile. We believe this took him out of commission for the rest of the third martian invasion Though the repercussions of his defeat are hard to pin down, as his true intentions during this war were unknown. He did seem to be heading in the direction of the Black Olympus however, and could have been looking to effect the outcome of the Mike lead strike team's battle with Infi-Knight

The only thing we know about Stockmyre's goal is that they have something to do with death grips as almost 3/4ths of his sightings appear only moments after the band's name is uttered (usually by mike).

He can also be sighted briefly during Season 2 Episode 12 - If the Suit Fits. If you look closely during the scene in which Do-Wah Diddy whips his dick out, he can be seen for one frame, standing over Diddy as "Business man writing with marker writing something on glass board isolated on white background", marker in hand, with "No Love Deep Web" freshly written on the martian's cock. The show cuts away the frame after this appears, leaving the Martian's reaction a mystery. Still other appearances are in name alone, like the username of the dealer Mike downloads his legendary pound of ketamine off the deep web from being Ms.Cry Toke, and anagram of "Stockmyre".

Currently some fans believe Stockmyre to be the ghost of a failed death grips member who passed away from starvation during a week long power point presentation at his office job. This is widely considered to be a myth however, as MC Ride would never do that to a friend.

During the Liberation of Singapore arc, Jonathan Stockmyre receives the largest amount of character development yet seen in his entirety. After a short battle with Mobius One, he reveals that his rivalry with the pilot was on orders by Agent John Kill as a long-term plan to keep the ace pilot alive so he could fulfill his role in destroying the Bog Star. This establishes he is an ally to John Kill and 29th Echelon, though this still leave his overall motivations unanswered. Stockmyre is last seen during the main saga seemingly sacrificing himself to shield Mike from a lethal blow, only for his remains to not be found after the battle's end. Theories for this range from Stockmyre disintegrating upon death, Stockmyre assuming the form of a dead Martian crew member involuntarily, or Stockmyre retreating during the heat of the battle to continue on his mysterious quest.

Trivia

 * Because of his shape shifting ability, the only way to incapacitate him is to knock him out, as he can always change from "Businessman tied up with ropes and briefcase" to "Man with two guns" as long as he is conscious.
 * As an Ketamine dealer, Seinfeld would likely consider him an enemy, if he knew of his existence.